Today we’d like to introduce you to Brittney Gonzalez.
Brittney, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
My story starts like everyone’s story – I grew up, got married, had 2 kids. But my journey didn’t really start until about 10 years ago, when I started to realize that motherhood was triggering emotions for me that felt big and scary – and I didn’t know how to cope. Up to that point, I was on autopilot – as so many parents of young children are. You go about they busy-ness of parenting – the early mornings, the sleepless nights, the constant hum of youthful activity. But there comes a point when you start to see that being busy doesn’t equal being connected – and when my kids hit their teenage years, I was confronted with the reality that my relationship with them wasn’t what I wanted it to be. As they were growing, I was not responding well to their attitudes, behaviors, and needs. It seemed like everything hurt me, but I didn’t know what why.
Around that time, I went back to school to get my degree in Marriage & Family Studies, and started to explore family dynamics, generational patterns, and how trauma shows up in relationships. I knew I had some work to do, so I started the work of healing. As I uncovered layers of myself that I had not understood before, the way I was able to show up for my kids changed – and our relationships changed along the way.
When I finished school, I knew I wanted to help other parents experience the same shifts and find the same hope that I had found, so I started the certification process to become a Parent Coach through The Jai Institute for Parenting. After nearly three years of work to become certified, I started The Parenting Lab, which is now a space for exploring parenting not from a traditional perspective of child-focused tips and tricks – but one of deep awareness, healing, and transformation.
As I coached parents through journeys of self-reflection, I started to feel a sense of urgency – I was seeing massive transformations happen with my clients, but I was only working with a few people at a time and I knew that this work needed to be available to every. single. family. So I started The Parenting Lab Podcast with the intention of offering new perspectives to parents in the most accessible way possible. The podcast has continued to grow, and has now led me to working with corporate HR departments to improve employee wellness in work/family life, speaking at retreats and seminars, and creating online resources for parents who know the kind of parent they want to be, but struggle to be in daily life.
So ultimately, my journey is one of self-discovery, years of trudging through the mire of emotional healing, and the consistent, ongoing work of aligning myself to my values, my family, and my sense of Self – then walking that journey together with as many parents as I can.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Are there any smooth roads?! As someone who works in the emotional/relational space, I firmly believe that the hardest struggles are in walking the walk and talking the talk. The road to where I am, especially as a mother, has definitely been hard – not from the obstacles “out there,” but from the ones “in here,” within my own self. Confronting patterns and beliefs that we have held for our entire lives, family dynamics we have inherited from generations before us, and then trying to metabolize all of that while still showing up as a parent and partner and business owner every day is exhausting.
So often, my clients get stuck in this phase – “it’s too much,” they’ll tell me. And I GET IT. Because I’m still being confronted with new and deeper levels of awareness and ways that I need to heal. I still get triggered, hurt, offended, and blindsided by my children. I still default to old patterns and old wounds still cause pain. But the work isn’t going to stop – I’ll never fully “arrive” as a healed person, or mother, or coach.
So the road we’re on is 4WD, snow tires, chains – the works. I might be a little further down that road than you are, so I can help you navigate it. But I’m definitely still on it with you.
As you know, we’re big fans of The Parenting Lab. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
The Parenting Lab was created to explore the art and science of parenting – not as a job or a role that we play, but as an identity. Parenting cracks us open, and reveals hidden parts of us that we can either acknowledge, heal, and integrate – or ignore, suppress, and perpetuate.
All of my work is based in science and research, with a healthy dose of common sense and humor. I think that what sets my work apart in the parenting space is that we DON’T focus on kids. We focus on the parent. So if you’re looking for tips, tricks, scripts, or hacks – you won’t find that here. I want to take you deeper than that – because if you want to stop yelling at your kids, you can count to 10 a hundred times a day, and still find yourself yelling. Because the kids aren’t making you yell. Your nervous system is activated and raising the alarm. So let’s stop treating symptoms and focus on what’s really happening underneath.
The first conversation I have with all of my clients is about Core Values. What are your core values? Because so much of the conflict and disconnection in our relationships occurs because we are not aligned with what’s actually important to us. My work in helping people identify their values and then live in alignment with those values is foundational to all of the other frameworks and resources that I offer. If you’re wanting to change your life – whether you’re a parent or not – let’s talk about Core Values! I have several resources available to get you started.
My goal in The Parenting Lab is to have this information available at several entry points – if you have nothing but time, listen to the podcast or download one of many free resources. If you have a little bit of financial flexibility, I have workbooks that contain hundreds of pages of information, coaching, and exercises for a low price. And if you’re ready to dig deep with the support of a coach, let’s look at working together! I would love to be a part of your journey.
Is there something surprising that you feel even people who know you might not know about?
Most people that meet me now or see me in the stage of parenting that I’m in (my kids are both adults!) are surprised that I’ve struggled in my relationship with them. It’s easy in a social media world to see the posts and hear the stories and think that we’ve always been close and connected, but that is so far from the truth. I have a son and a daughter, and with each of them I work on things constantly. I never take our closeness for granted, and I love sharing that with others – but it has been hard, and raw, and gaping.
As a parenting “expert” I think it’s easy for people to think that I must have it all together, but I’m still a little bit broken and working on things all the time.
Pricing:
- Downloadable Resources – $0-37
- In-Depth Courses – $97-147
- Virtual Retreats – $147+
- Coaching Packages – $200-1800
Contact Info:
- Website: https://theparentinglab.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentinglabpodcast/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/8627931200664902
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yourparentcoach-brittney/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@theparentinglabpodcast
- Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5XutSQzLJgrHHev0RJFhUF
- Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-parenting-lab-help-for-the-healing-parent/id1798104055
