Today we’d like to introduce you to Tiffany Holdaway
Hi Tiffany, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
Both of my parents were addicts and split up shortly after I was born. I didn’t see my father very much. My mother often left me with neighbors, her family, and babysitter’s while she either went to work (when she had a job) or parties. I experienced years of sexual abuse from four of my uncles that caused a lot of confusion. By six years old I was the oldest of six; one sister was adopted out at birth, two sisters and one brother were taken away when I was five. After we were in and out of many foster homes, my youngest brother was born two years later and raised by his father. Those were my babies! I was caring for them, holding them when they cried, changing their diapers…well, the best I could at 5 years old. Audrey had rashes a lot, but I didn’t know that was why she was crying..I thought she was hungry all the time. After my siblings were taken by the state, I was allowed to stay with my mom, which made me happy because I loved her so much, but none the less, left me, once again, angry and confused about not having my siblings with me. We continued living an unstable life with my mother’s boyfriend’s, who were usually abusive, and drugs, and alcohol. Which, eventually, led us to complete homelessness. I thought all this was normal…and I admit, sometimes adventurous.
Because of my unconventional upbringing, I went to several schools for a short period up until we became completely homeless and I lost track of where my mom was. I would try to register myself multiple times at different schools through the 5th & 6th grades, quickly needing to move on so the state didn’t take me because my mother was MIA. I had conflicting emotions over this; sad because I loved school and I wanted an education and was relieved from the embarrassment of getting teased for wearing the same clothes every day and smelling of BO. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to get an education past 4th grade unless I became a ward of the state. I’d been through six foster homes already, so that idea was not appealing at all, who would take care of my mom? I felt inferior and scared to involve myself with children my age, especially girls.
Beginning at a young age I thought my mother was the prettiest woman in the world. She was Wonder Woman in my eyes and I wanted to be just like her; tall, thin, and captivating. I saw the attention she would get from men and how she carried herself, so sexy and confident that I thought that was how I should be, but I didn’t grow up to be any of those. I also resented how my mother allowed men to treat her because of it, which ended up distorting how I viewed myself along with my emotional growth in a lot of areas of my life. I found out later on that she kept me in the dark about femininity, to keep me safe from experiencing any more sexual abuse.
When I was 11 years old I found my beautiful mother drunk & vulnerable, living under the viaduct on 400 West and North Temple surrounded by Tramps (Transients were called Tramps back then) licking their chops waiting for any opportunity to get a piece of her. I stayed there with her under the bridge for almost a year…I learned how to roll cigarettes & joints. I would wait till my mom would become inebriated and sit by her, so nobody could come and touch her. One night this guy RJ saw me struggling to stay awake and told me he had something that would keep me awake…that was my first shot of meth and boy did I feel 10’ tall and bulletproof! All the fears were gone and I felt tough like I had a purpose. This was where I belonged. These were my people, I understood my mom just a little bit more.
As an adult, I became a carbon copy of my mother; an addict, codependent, in multiple abusive relationships, and homeless. As a mother, I duplicated every decision that confused me about the choices she made. With my first two children, a son born in 99’ and a daughter in 00’, the first 3 years with them were great, then their father and I began using and it often got in the way of giving them a safe and clean environment. I went from being the child banging on the door for my mommy while she was behind closed doors getting high and having sex with random men to being the mother choosing to avoid her children’s cries of neglect so I could do the same thing. After their father and I split up, I spent my time with men and getting high, over finding ways to see my children. I just gave up. I continued a life of irresponsibility, stealing, and manipulating to get my next high. I was all too comfortable back out on the streets reliving what I knew as a child. Out of sight out of mind worked for me…too well, unfortunately.
I had two more children, a son in 2007 during my stay at House of Hope and a daughter in 2008 living in a Holladay apartment with her father. That situation had become abusive during my pregnancy with her and continued for months after. Eventually, it ended in bloodshed as I fought him off hurting him badly and I was sent to prison, spending three long years there. My, ultimate, mistake was waiting until it had gotten so bad and not leaving him sooner, or getting the cops involved. (Which hadn’t helped my mother and I in the past, anyway)
This has resulted in obscene financial consequences.
While in prison I studied to get my GED and High School Diploma, along with a year of college obtaining a certificate in Business Technologies.
Straight out of prison, I got myself into another abusive relationship, one even more violent than I have ever experienced, lasting four years, aside from times when I got locked up producing a brutal mugshot. By this time I had no confidence, and no self-worth in sight, I had grown accustomed to the pain and the abuse and just looked forward to the benefits of the short time after each fight when he showered me “with love” or when getting high was more important than safety. Thankfully, there was a last fight that ended with us both in jail, which gave me a chance to find something different and save my life the right way.
So once I got arrested, I heard about The Other Side Academy, 2 years didn’t seem that big of a deal to me compared to my life right then. I wrote them a letter asking for an interview to be accepted into their community. I read on the flyer that, “For some, this may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do”, that spoke to me. Plus the fact that it was 2 years long and would get me out of the life I was currently in and away from any chance of returning into the fists of that abusive man again.
I felt an immediate connection and admiration for Lola Strong, Director at TOSA, during my first interview in Utah County Jail, creating the strongest desire I have ever felt for change and begging to be accepted into The Other Side Academy.
I came to The Academy in 2016 a complete mess, in need of safety, confidence, emotional maturity, and how to raise my standards after living such a horrendous life of drug use, domestic violence, homelessness, and a disturbing lack of maternal responsibility.
Although I swore I was willing to do anything for this opportunity, there were times I put up quite a fuss trying to figure everything out but I worked through it with an undeniable gratitude for Lola for seeing my potential and accepting me into the TOSA family. To me, Lola is titanium femininity with a gentle firmness and a loud silence.
I gained a new appreciation for life and realized a whole new world outside of what I was used to. I knew I belonged beside these men & women of The Other Side Academy who were becoming emotionally strong, honest, compassionate, accountable, and confident.
I admired Dave Durocher, the Executive Director, and was in awe of him every time he spoke and how he carried himself. He didn’t care what people thought of his feedback or approach, because he knew his intentions were good and his motives were to help others pull their heads out of their rear-ends. He was the same person in every room and I wanted to implement that into my character. He became an incredible strength and an encouraging father figure who believed in me no matter how big of a pain I could be. The students of TOSA, and other staff members, also helped me become who I am today through the time they invested and showed as prime examples of how to live a life of integrity serving others.
At the beginning of my fourth year as a student in October 2019, I was hired as a staff member! I oversaw the Legal/Intake and Corporate Development, I also worked a small part at The Other Side Thrift Boutique during my last year at The Academy and then transferred to The Other Side Village in January of 2023 as a Coach.
Before 2016, I thought I was a lost cause because of what happened to me and my decisions. I never imagined that I would have the life I do today. Today, because of my lived experience with homelessness, addiction, and DV, I can help others recreate themselves, forgive themselves, invest in themselves and others, and work hard to achieve their goals.
Working at TOSV has been an incredible addition to my life. We have a fantastic leadership and coaching team, and our residents (We call them Neighbors) are working hard to build their character and work-ethic along with strengthening their minds and hearts. I’m blessed to be part of an organization that takes such good care of their emplpoyess and residents.
The Other Side Village has two parts:
The Other Side Prep School is a free residential program designed to provide individuals with the tools, skills, and support they need to transition into stable, meaningful lives. The program emphasizes personal growth, self-sufficiency, and community contribution. The Prep School helps residents develop life skills, gain work experience, and build a foundation for long-term success by creating a structured and supportive environment that empowers them to rebuild their lives and achieve sustainable independence.
The Other Side Village is a transformative housing community designed to provide permanent, affordable, and supportive homes for individuals experiencing chronic homelessness. Located in Salt Lake City, the Village emphasizes personal growth, accountability, and community integration, offering residents the tools to build a stable and meaningful life.
Jordon Holdaway and I began our journey through TOSA in 2016 and grew up in the house together, I quickly learned he was beyond intelligent, and a hard worker, and he often shared that he was only there to beat a sentence and was quite arrogant. We built a friendship after our first year when we could hang out with accountability partners, work together on construction tasks, GED, and most importantly, go through Junior Retreat together.
I felt comfortable and safe from embarrassment when Jordon would take the time to explain blueprints and construction materials and acknowledge how that helped me excel at my job in Corp D. When I struggled with feedback in groups he would jump in and help her see how obstinate I was being. He became a man I looked up to, trusted, and admired. I watched as Jordon’s arrogance was sifted through some hard self-discoveries into becoming the smallest person in the room while remaining a strong and empowering presence.
Instead of seeking acknowledgment and praise, he encouraged others to reach their potential and gain confidence, showing he now cared less about looking good and wanted to do good. He decided to stick around to work for the Academy, adding value to everything he’s involved in, and living a life of purpose and meaning.
Jordon is my best friend and greatest supporter and has shown me what a fun and loving relationship consists of and has been an amazing influence and father figure to my son, Tym’n. He has shown me patience during my crazy, kindness when I was hard on myself, and safety to learn that he was NOT too good to be true.
We married on Halloween night of 2024 with a costume wedding!
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Sexual abuse & physical abuse at a young age, Homelessness, addiction, Abusive relationships, Jail and prison. Emotional immaturity from lack of a “normal life,” no schooling as a child. Feeling useless, inadequate and inferior.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am a graduate and former staff member at The Other Side Academy and I am now a Coach at The Other Side Village. As a student and staff member at The Other Side Academy, I gained a work ethic, integrity, emotional maturity, How to be the same person in every room, accountability for myself and others, self-confidence, pride in work, and I learned how to love myself and others. I learned how to follow so I can lead others on the right path. I became a good mother, daughter, and friend.
At The Other Side Village, as a Coach, I remind/teach our residents how to maintain a healthy hygiene routine and a clean space, helping them manage their medication and medical/dental appointments, regular meal routine, get out of their comfort zone in multiple ways, communication skills, team-work, cooking, working through debilitating moments due to anxiety or differences of opinion with others. This is a peer-led community where they hold each other to high standards.
We believe in personal growth. People are not capped out just because they have mental health struggles or physical limitations. We show them that they are capable of more and lead them down the path of realizing it for themselves.
Alright so before we go can you talk to us a bit about how people can work with you, collaborate with you or support you?
Take the time to learn about our organization. Meet our graduates and current residents of TOSA and TOSV. Meet our staff and seek to understand before making a negative opinion on how we run. Support our social enterprises by visiting them and purchasing from them….get the word out about how amazing we are so we can save more lives!
Follow us on social media, attend council meetings, and share your love for what we do and how we help.
Contact Info:
- Website: theothersideacademy.com and theothersidevillage.com
- Instagram: @theothersidevillage – @theothersideacademy – @tosathrift – @thethersidedonuts – @theothersidebuilders
- Facebook: The Other Side Academy – The Other Side Village – The Other Side Donuts –
- Youtube: https://youtu.be/EB7_JWsKdxc – https://youtu.be/Iie6jaj8zks
