Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa.
Hi Melissa, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
I grew up trying everything. Gymnastics, tennis, basketball (I’m pretty sure I fouled out of every Jr. Jazz game I played in), soccer of course, horseback riding was my biggest passion. Then one day my friends took me to a lacrosse practice. I remember going home telling my Mom, “I need to buy a lacrosse stick.” My Mom’s face immediately said it all, “Great, another hobby!”
But lacrosse stuck… once I figured out I was a lefty.
I played for a combined Highland-Olympus team and had a great coach. Our first game of the season he called my name to start as a d-wing, and I didn’t know what that meant, but I was hooked. And soon after that, my Mom was hooked too, and my Dad got on board eventually. I tried out for every team I could, I played for Team Utah then played at BYU.
Fast forward to now, I’ve coached longer than I ever played.
I started coaching as an assistant coach under Elise Caffee at Skyline High School in 2013, under her leadership, we won the D1 State Championship. I owe a lot of my coaching style to Elise. I loved the way she led, mentored, and loved her players – and organized her program.
I’ve been coaching at Brighton since 2014, head coach since 2018.
And now I’m also the BYU women’s lacrosse head coach, as of August 2025.
I joined John Tilley and Utah Elevate in 2017 when Elevate had 1 team, 17 players and 2 coaches.
Now, Elevate has 300 players and 30 coaches (all who play or played women’s college lacrosse).
Elevate is the largest girl’s lacrosse club in the state of Utah – and has been named the #1 club in the state of Utah for the last several years. It’s a program I’m extremely proud of. We have three directors – John Tilley, Mikala Boyack, and myself, who have poured our hearts into building a program that teaches lacrosse, but also provides a happy, fun program for players to love lacrosse and build lasting relationships, something that lacrosse has given the three of us.
If you would have told little freshman me – or even better, told my parents – back in 2004 that lacrosse was going to be my full-time job, we all would’ve laughed. Now, I coach every day, sometimes multiple times a day, at different fields, different teams. I spend my days creating drills, reserving fields, managing team logistics, talking to parents, building social media content, talking to prospective players, traveling to tournaments, most importantly, helping athletes chase their goals.
The last year especially at BYU… coaching college, building Elevate and having my first baby… I’m living my dream life.
So many people have asked me what it’s like, how I balance it all, it is a lot, but it’s also a pinch me moment. I’m literally living my dream.
I spend my days on a lacrosse field? Yes, please.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Is a career, a life, ever a smooth road? That’s not how life is supposed to be. Just like sports – if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth doing.
Ask any coach, coaching doesn’t actually pay the bills and it is an extremely time consuming job – I’m always the first to the field and the last to leave. Tournaments on most weekends, practice every evening, early mornings, late nights. Tons of game film. Player’s parents are extremely supportive… and sometimes really hard.
I’m lucky now that I am 100% focused on coaching. But before this year, balancing a full-time job AND coaching was a LOT of work. I was a high school health teacher for 9 years.
Coaches are our own worst critics. For every lost game, or even won game, parent email, substitution, my brain spins about plays, goals scored (or not scored). Obviously as a coach you want all your players to be happy, and that just isn’t possible.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a coach is that you can care deeply about people, work hard for the team, and still not be liked by everyone – or be seen by everyone. Early on, I wanted everyone to like me, and I took criticism very personally – it’s still hard, but I’ve learned that coaching means making difficult decisions, and doing what’s best for the team.
Learning to be okay with not being liked by everyone is really hard.
Growing Elevate – just like growing any business – comes with ups and downs. We’ve made mistakes along the way and learned what works and what doesn’t in the club sports world. We’ve learned that communication is key, and always buy more lacrosse balls than you think you need, and a whole lot more. I didn’t major in business or marketing (I majored in public health), so we figure it out along the way and it’s been the most fun adventure!
I’m extremely lucky to have a supportive husband who has jumped into lacrosse with both feet. He supports all 3 of my teams (Brighton, Elevate, BYU). He comes to games, helps with logistics, knows players’ names, and knows lacrosse very well. He’s an amazing supporter and makes it all possible!
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
What am I most proud of?
I’m most proud of building lacrosse cultures that are inclusive, inviting, and fun. I’m most proud of creating an environment where our Elevate players feel comfortable and build lasting relationships on and off the field.
Too often, especially in women’s sports, we hear stories about environments that are overly competitive, full of drama, or built around tearing each other down. You can pursue excellence without sacrificing relationships.
One of the best compliments we receive at Elevate (and Brighton and BYU) is that our athletes are fierce competitors, but they also genuinely enjoy being around each other and build each other up. We work hard, we compete hard, and we have high expectations, but we also celebrate each other’s successes and create an environment where athletes feel like they belong.
As a high school health teacher, I used to teach in my mental health unit that “the opposite of depression is connection.” Every person is looking for connection, and sports, especially for teenagers, are one of the best ways to create those meaningful relationships. There is no need to tear each other down, especially when you’re on the same team.
At Elevate, we believe that a goal for one athlete is a goal for everyone. When one person succeeds, we all celebrate. You should see our sidelines during games! Creating a culture where athletes support each other, push each other, and genuinely care for each other is something I’m really proud of.
Our “Elevators” as we call them become genuine friends – they support each other at other sporting events during the school year, they go to mission call openings, they hang out with each other outside of lacrosse. Sometimes we can’t get them to be quiet at practice, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s bigger than lacrosse!
Any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general?
My husband and I were at a Jazz game a few years ago, and he pointed out that I wasn’t actually watching the game, I was watching the coaches on the sideline. I hadn’t even realized I was doing it, but once he mentioned it, I started noticing that I always do that.
I’m fascinated by the decisions coaches make, how they communicate, their body language, how they talk to the refs, their post-game interviews, all of it.
NFL game on TV, I watch the coaches.
At a Jazz game, I watch the coaches.
Even at my nieces and nephews rec-league soccer games, I watch the coaches.
I’m lucky that my career is everywhere. There are a lot of coaching tips and tricks on social media. My whole Instagram algorithm is lacrosse. There are a lot of great coaching books. And a lot of great coach examples. Andy Reid is a favorite of mine.
I love being a student of the game and really, any game.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://UtahElevate.com
- Instagram: UtahElevateGirls
