Today we’d like to introduce you to Niki DiGaetano.
Hi Niki, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstories.
I originally started my career in graphic design, majoring in it all through college, and eventually landed my first full-time job in the field. Though I still enjoy this work, after about a year, I realized I wanted to be doing something more in addition to design. I have always been able to sit with heaviness and sadness.
So I started volunteering with BAYADA hospice to see if exploring work in this area would call to me. And turns out, it did! I enrolled in a master’s program for hospice chaplaincy, which I’m still working on. Around this time, I discovered the growing field of death doulas, which is a non-medical assistant who acts as a midwife for dying person and their families. So I enrolled in a training program for death doulas through the University of Vermont.
My life was turned upside down last year, when a five-year relationship ended, taking my living situation with it. I spent that summer hiking half of the 1,200-mile Appalachian Trail, where concepts I’d been dabbling with (such as how to live fully alive, and how an appreciation for death can guide us to a more fulfilling life) exploded into fruition.
Now that I’ve returned from the trail, I’m about to upend my life again by moving to Utah (mostly on a whim) to hike and live in the mountains, and live all that I’ve been talking about but have been too afraid to do. Life is for the living, and I can’t wait to bring all the things I’ve learned to help others through life mentoring, as well as practicing as a death doula.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Nope! I mean, is it ever? Last year was really rough for me. But I can see now how transformative it was. It truly drives home the point that the greatest awakenings often lie on the other side of some of the deepest pain.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
My work exists on two sides of a spectrum: how to live, and how to die. (Paradoxically, both are connected, but that’s a different topic for a different day!) My life mentoring is especially geared towards 20 and 30-somethings who find themselves asking, “is this it?” Is everything we were taught to do our whole lives a giant farce? Why aren’t I happy? How can I make the most of my time?
Conversely, my death doula work is for anyone (regardless of age or diagnosis, or lack of a diagnosis!) who wants to explore death, whether this be the nitty-gritty logistics of gathering paperwork, or simply discussing fears around dying. I think what sets me apart from others is while both of these services seemingly appear to be completely opposite, they’re actually quite similar.
I integrate my death work (and all the wisdom it provides) into my life mentorship work. And I integrate my life mentorship work into my death work; trying to get to the heart of what matters to someone as they define their priorities at the end of life. Finally, I’m in the middle of trying to incorporate a hiking/backpacking component into my life mentorship work, which I think is not only a unique twist but an incredibly healing and transformative modality.
Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
Honestly, having soul-baring conversations with people is one of the things that makes me the happiest. It’s those moments when a friend (or even someone I’m not even that close to) opens their heart and asks deep questions or shares what’s been hurting them, and every time, I’m floored. I think, what an honor, to be let into someone’s story. That vulnerability and connection is something I live for.
Aside from that, I absolutely love throwing myself up a mountain. The climb is incredible, and the view from the top is amazing. I’m so very alive and present in those moments: smelling the wind, the leaves, listening to birdsong. It feels like a physical and visceral release so powerful that it’s hard to describe. That’s how I lived last summer on the Trail, and it was an amazing feeling.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.numbered-days.com
- Instagram: @numbereddays.death.ed
