Today, we’d like to introduce you to Ben Pugh.
Hi Ben, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
You know how there are a lot of moms of “struggling” teens who love their teens and are just trying to help their teen make the best choices, but no matter what they do to try to help their teen, it always seems to end in an argument or a fight.
Well, that was me… wait, not the mom. I was that “struggling” teen.
My mom constantly tried to help me change, improve, and make better choices, but no matter what she did to try to help, even though I desperately needed the help, it always seemed to end in arguing, fighting and hurt feelings.
As a teen, I struggled to make good decisions. I struggled in school with my grades and behavior. When I was 13 years old, I accidentally lit my school bus on fire with rubber cement. I was labeled a “knucklehead” and even a “bad” kid. And I felt like something was wrong with me and I was letting everyone down. I felt alone.
This is why I’m on a mission to help parents be the adults in their teen’s life that their teen needs and wants. Everything I teach, I’ve used in my own life with my students, my foster children, and my teens.
Some of the things that have helped me understand how to help parents and their teens are my experience as a high school football coach, the ten years my wife and I spend doing foster care, the my time spent as a teacher, and the five years I spent as a high school principal. And, most valuable was my experience as a teen “knucklehead” that learned everything the hard way.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
One of the biggest struggles I’ve had a long the way is teaching parents to stop trying to change/fix/or control their teen and to BE the change they are looking for.
Usually, this is completely foreign to parents. At the beginning of my coaching career, parents would come to me hoping that I would magically change or fix their teen. They were surprised when I told them that their teen was outside of our control and that they had more power to change and fix themselves.
I remember one mom asking, “So, you’re saying I’m the problem?”
As I’ve gotten better at conveying this message of BEING the change, I don’t offend as many parents, and parents are starting to understand that they are not the problem but the solution. They’ve started to see that they can’t change their teens, but by simply BEING the change they’re looking for, they increase their impact on their teen, which often leads the teen to follow their parent’s example and start creating change in their own life.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next, you can tell us a bit more about your business?
My business is called Ben Pugh Coaching. I’m on a mission to help parents and teens improve their relationship with each other so the teenage years can be a positive and impactful foundation for both the parent and the teen.
I’m known for being the go-to coach when parents are at their wit’s end, and they don’t know what to do. I’m known for making parenting teens fun, easy, and natural, and helping create these changes faster than parents expect.
One thing that makes me unique is that I focus on the parents and what they can control, which is always something within themselves. Most parenting experts inadvertently focus more on the child/teen and getting them to change.
The problem with this old approach is that it disempowers the parent by having them focus on something outside of their control, and it disempowers the teen because the parent is trying to control them. One of the fundamental secrets that I want all parents to know is that your teen wants YOU to connect with them! Most parents assume that their teen wants nothing to do with them, or they try to make their teen do the work of connection.
When you realize that your teen wants YOU to connect with them, you’ll start seeing opportunities to start building that connection with your teen.
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
One of my favorite adults as a teen, and one who’s had a huge impact on who I am and how I coach and teach, is one of my high school teachers, Mr. Davies. He challenged me to a wrestling match in class, in front of all the girls, and humbled me while still showing me he cared.
Also, my business partner and wife make all of this possible by doing all of the technical backend parts of our business. I also need to shout out to all of my former foster kids, former students, and my own four children, including my two teens; thanks for the real-time on-the-job training, thanks for letting me fail and make mistakes, and thanks for helping me grow and improve.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://benpughcoaching.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/benpughcoaching/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/benpughcoaching/
- Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@BenPughCoaching
- Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/impact-parenting-with-perspective/id1523428934
